New year, same bullsh*t?


Every year I say the same thing.

"This will be my year."

Well as we are over a week into 2018- there are no diets, no holiday booked or dramatic hair cut. But there has been a change in my mood. That's progress from 2017 I welcome with open arms and a cuppa.

I woke up on 1st January feeling refreshed, despite getting in at 6am, ready to start the new year with a more positive attitude. I wasn't going to set goals like; go for runs, keep my room tidy, be organised at uni- because lets face it-no matter how many new years I've seen, I will still be doing the same bullshit. I will still wake up late, leave essays till last minute and will always find what I've lost, on my bedroom floor. New year. Same me.
Except this year, I am choosing to accept and be happy with that me.

Bitterness and dread filled my mornings with my coffee and cereal. All motivation had seeped away. Until I realised how fucking boring it is. I have seen myself full of aspirations and motivation before and I'm ready to see it again. I got myself into the cloudy rut of comparison and self doubt. Constantly looking at what other people had and what I didn't and how I will never make it. I saw the majority of this through the eyes of Facebook and Instagram and as a step to be more positive-I have consciously cut down on my use of social media. I was scrolling for half an hour at a life I wish I had and I just thought- "I don't care". I put my phone down and I felt lighter. The need for the likes and followers lifted and the notion of just enjoying moments  and telling moments through coffee rather than a snapchat, is much more fulfilling. But don't get me wrong, I love an aesthetically pleasing cup of coffee and street as much as the next one. I am certainly not going T total from social media, but my reasons for using it will be to lift me up, drive me- not sit and compare and wish hours away.

I’m not going to pretend like I’ve somehow been reborn and on my way to becoming world leader. Sure, a new year is a time to reflect and a good excuse to make changes...but why are people so quick to want to change? Shouldn’t we be happy with who we are? I will never be a gym bunny but I’m okay with that. I am not okay with the stupid pressure we put on ourselves to “be the best version of ourselves”. We are in a time where it’s the the in thing to be busy. To be stressed. To be doing a million things at once and making sure we’re posting about it on insta-stories.  But I’m so over it. And I’m so over the same old bullshit of people trying to change to fit in with this-when really, girl-you we’re doing great 2017 anyway.

I know self improvement can never go a miss but the new year resolutions always be the same and I just want to to tell you all to chill the fuck out. Personally, I find giving myself strict goals and aims useless. I still don’t do it and while everyone around me is doing all that hustling, I’m not and I feel guilty and like I’ve failed. But that’s why this year I’ve cut out the bullshit. Why put that strain on myself when I will be happier doing things at my own pace and on my own accord-not influenced by a the new year resolution construct.

2018 is another unpredictable year. But one I am excited for. Throughout twitter I have seen so many people express their determination and strive for it. It's like the world was dragged down in 2017 but maybe 2018 is the year we rebel. Haven't we had enough of bad news? Isn't this the time we start making some good news?

People don't often change. But we can change our ways. Our thinking and actions. I'm still going to be the same me, but maybe just a better one. Or it might all be a heap of bullshit and I'll be copy and pasting this post in 2019...

Do you have any new year resolutions or exciting plans for 2018?